How To Drive (And Stay Alive) In Thailand

This is something that I deal with on a daily basis, and many of my friends have echoed the same sentiment: driving in Thailand is dangerous. So I decided it was finally time to write about it - about the facts, rules and advice on how to drive in Chiang Mai, Thailand. Let it be known that for the most part, Thailand has really great road infrastructure and excellent highways connecting the whole country. The problem is not the quality or layout of the roads - although as Chiang Mai is rapidly developing, there should be consideration of no-car zones or incentives to walk or cycle - the problem is with laws that are not enforced by authorities, who allow potential murderers to continue behaving badly on the roads, and all too often cause the tragic loss of life you can see in the newspapers every other day. So it's people that are the problem, too.

The Facts:

• Thailand has the second highest road fatalities in the world, with 80 lives lost every day.

• It has the sixth highest rate of road traffic accidents, killing up to 26,000 people every year. Yes, 26,000 people. Just let that sink in for a second.

• Even more alarming is that 70-80% of those victims are motorcyclists or their passengers, which is worrying for the majority of Thais, foreigners and tourists, whose chosen mode of transport are motorised two-wheeled vehicles (of doom).

• The most likely fatalities in road accidents are drivers and passengers who are helmetless or not wearing a seatbelt; tragically, this is often combined with speeding or drunk driving.


So now that we know Thailand is a haven for irresponsible and inconsiderate driving, which often ends in accidents and needless deaths, here are a few ways to combat the country's pandemic (keep in mind I lived in Chiang Mai - Bangkok is another monster altogether).

Travelling safely on a beautiful road somewhere in Northern Thailand.

Characteristics of Drivers in Thailand:

Vans, buses and trucks
Here's the part where I'll admit I've always been terrified of humungous vehicles. In Thailand, I'm even more terrified, and I can thank my ten or so bus trips that involved hyperventilation and chest pains. When I say bus, van, and truck drivers in Thailand should be institutionalised, I can back it up with the countless news stories of their frequent fatal crashes. While I understand that most, if not all, of them are working awful hours for awful pay, and many are on yaba to stay awake and make good times, the dangers they impose on their passengers and other drivers on the roads is just criminal.

No checking when entering roads from side-streets.

Unfortunately, many people don't seem to think anything of pulling onto a busy road without checking for oncoming traffic - the attitude is that it's your job to avoid them! I have personally come within inches of colliding with an absent-minded motorbike or car driver more than enough times, and it still happens now! It's just a normal thing for drivers, so be aware that you're the one who's expected to move out of their way.

Indicators? What are those?

Driving in Thailand, you will either encounter motorbikes that have left their indicator on for the last few hundred metres, passing countless roads they didn't turn into, or you will find many people who simply don't use their indicators, and will sharply turn without warning. This is especially scary when you're on a motorbike and cars decide to swerve in front of you on a whim. Again, just stay away!

Angry, helmetless scooter-driver. Yikes!

Driving on the wrong side of the road

Sometimes this is actually understandable, especially on highways when the next U-turn is 5 km away and you're well on your way to the next province. After enough time in Thailand, you will be used to scooters and motorbikes driving on the far edge of the left lane, avoiding obstacles and potholes, just to save time. That doesn't mean it's still not dangerous, and drivers need to watch out for vehicles on these little side lanes.

Driving too slow or too fast
This is something I'm still figuring out. The speed of driving is completely random from one road to the next, with some drivers hobbling along awkwardly and holding up the traffic, and others going 100 km down residential roads. (We almost lost our lives once, right near our apartment, when a car came screeching towards us at a horrific speed and we had to scramble out of the way because he clearly wasn't able to brake to a stop. Phew!)
On highways, many drivers take their turns over two lanes, while it's harder for people to speed in the city because it's more condensed. That doesn't mean they don't when they can though; any time after midnight and especially on weekends, watch out for drunk drivers in their cars whizzing down the moat roads in the Old City.

Special mention: TOURISTS

Unfortunately, our world doesn't share a universal driving system full of polite etiquette and sensible rules, so you will come across people who are visiting Thailand and aren't used to the way of the road yet. This can be quite dangerous, especially because you can't anticipate what these new people might do!
Sometimes people might revert back to driving on the side of the road they are used to back home  or they might not make it through a set of traffic lights because they're used to patiently waiting their turn. Drivers in Thailand tend to run through yellow lights instead of slowing down, and many of the timed traffic lights aren't properly calibrated for the amount of traffic which invites people to act recklessly. I've seen many almost-collisions happen in these situations.
Other times, people are so preoccupied with trying to find their way, they just completely forget about driving and stop wherever they are to pull out a map or point at things. The general consesus is to avoid driving near people who might look lost or confused, as they might do something unexpected and dangerous. C'mon, guys! You'd never do this at home, so don't do it somewhere else!

Two wheels is the way to get around in Chiang Mai.

How to Drive in Thailand:

Be wise with the cops. Yes, this is my number one rule!
This is a bit of a touchy subject in Thailand, because while it's public knowledge that the traffic police here are mostly corrupt, at the same time they do some necessary work (just not enough, in my opinion). I made a very controversial post about it called "Know Your Traffic Police Checkpoints in Chiang Mai", which has gathered tons of shares and comments, and a whole heap of passion, tension, and downright fury. Have a read, and come to your own conclusion, but one thing is certain: be wise when dealing with the traffic police. Do not let them target you, bribe you or blame you for anything that isn't your fault. And always make sure you are totally legal, from your helmet to your vehicle, registration and driving licence.

Always wear a helmet on a motorcycle, as a driver or passenger.

There are just no excuses for this one, and I cringe every time I see two adults squashed onto a motorbike with a baby in the middle, all three of them helmetless and without a care in the world. No. Just, no.

Be aware at all times. So aware it borders on paranoid.

You could act like you are playing a game when driving in Chiang Mai. It's called Dodge The Crazies, and this is the setting: cars and bikes turn out of side roads without looking, songtheaws (red trucks) always pull over to a stop without indicating, and drivers that do indicate leave their blinkers on for ages, leaving you clueless to their intentions.
So how do you deal with all these obstacles? I'll tell you! Be switched on, at all times. Be aware, check your surroundings, and only then make your move (do I sound like a driving instructor yet?) When you turn, change lanes, or pull out of a spot: be a creepy crawly. Sudden movements cause sudden death to those who don't creep and crawl. The rules are simple, and you will almost never get into an accident you could have prevented if you just follow them.

Don't let yourself get bullied.

Easier said than done. This is like trying to ignore the mean kid while he pokes you with a pencil and asks you why you are poking yourself. Car-bullies always push smaller vehicles around, whether they be rickety three-wheeled motorcycles with carts attached to them, or little old ladies on bicycles.
In Chiang Mai's case, there are way too many vehicles, and the infrastructure can barely deal with the traffic. You just have to ignore it as much as you can, and carry on driving reasonably and responsibly.

Big orange thing from the future going real slow in the fast lane.

Double check, triple check, check so much you know the license plate.

Indicating to turn is not enough, and even after a few hand signals - which you shouldn't do on a motorbike unless you're the passenger - drivers will still blatantly disregard you and attempt to mow you down. Always make sure you can drive somewhere, no matter if you have the right of way or not (there is not so much right of way in Thailand, more like "you snooze, you lose"). Cars are big old bullies, like I said, and other bike drivers are mostly insane. Yes, I believe it.

Don't drink and drive. Duh!

Every time I go out somewhere at night I scratch my head wondering about all the drunk people driving to their different homes on the highway or through the city, in cars and motorbikes alike. Both equally stupid and selfish.
Drunk drivers are a huge problem that Thailand needs to crack down on: where are the breathalyser checkpoints in popular nightlife areas on the weekends? Where are the metered cabs waiting to take people home (without ripping them off)? Why are the jails full of poor people, drug users, and petty criminals, and not potential murderers who get in their vehicles and swerve off into the night? I could go on, but you get the picture.

Don't drive aggressively, or speed.

Aggressive drivers don't do well in Chiang Mai, mainly because they have to compete with other aggressive drivers, and then everyone ends up looking like fools on the road. Especially in the old city, which is quite a small area, and unfortunately the long moat roads are a haven for midnight racers.
If you want to see Chiang Mai's version of the Fast and the Furious, hang around on any stretch of the Superhighway late at night. During the day, too, especially if heading up to an overpass or a turn-off. Those are the best places to speed, apparently. How do I know? Burnt rubber, glimpses of near deaths, and trails of stinky exhaust fumes, that's how!

Watch out for pesky street dogs who might decide to chase you for fun.

Don't drive at all, if you can
This might sound like a simple suggestion, but honestly, there are very few alternatives to driving your own vehicle in Chiang Mai. The mayor has been promising to get round to implementing a public transportation system for years (there was talk of bus services back in 2010, and most recently, his tune changed to "there are no funds for public transportation").
Songtheaws are slow and a big contributor to the air pollution in the city, while tuk-tuk drivers are very keen on squeezing your pockets dry while also being huge contributors to the city's air, and noise, pollution.
Bicycling is always an option but some do complain that city planning doesn't allow safe bicycle paths - remember up there when I said little old ladies on their bicycles are always bullied by cars? But then again, I do know many people who cycle in Chiang Mai. Perhaps they are just a lot braver than me!
And of course, there is walking, but since I arrived here, walking has become less and less pleasant due to the constant hollering of tuk-tuk drivers and the sickening scent of exhaust fumes. Unfortunate, as the city is lovely to walk around, particularly the old city with its pebbled alleys and the pretty lights and trees around the moat.
Sometimes, we have to travel by bus or van. Visa runs, for example, or short getaways to Pai. In these situations, make it your mission to sit up front with the driver (not as easy with buses) and make sure he knows you're there. Buy him an ice cream or coffee at one of the 7-11 stops, make small talk - the general idea is to keep him awake and alert with your antics.
The last time I did this, I actually asked the driver of my van to kindly slow down and stop tailgating other vehicles, and told him how I was fearful of an accident - he calmed down considerably, and spent the rest of the time chatting to me about his interesting life as a van driver all over Thailand!

Be kind, and patient
This might seem like a strange how-to, but it seems to work for the most part. When you let other people have their turn, you will have yours, instead of everyone trying to scramble and fumble over one another. When you wait patiently, somebody will stop for you, or let you get to where you need to go, and a nod in their direction is always appreciated. When you drive selfishly or angrily, you will find driving much more difficult as opposed to driving calmly and kindly, which in turn attracts more calm and kindness your way. Okay, was that too wishy-washy? I must be done here.

A huge ornamental portrait of The King on the side of a highway. Quite a common sight!

So here are my final observations about driving that apply to big cities the world over:
1. Who else thinks zooming around in big hunks of metal is pretty strange?
2. Also, isn't it funny how we're all in a big rush to get somewhere, pretty much all the time? (But mostly, we're just on our way home to plonk down in front of the TV in our PJs)
3. Okay, this one really baffles me... why do we feel the need to squeeze through everyone else to all get stuck at the same red light?
4. And, finally, don't you think it's really rubbish how we're never alone on the road (except at 3 in the morning), so we constantly have to battle with other selfish, absent-minded, or plain psychotic drivers? Like, couldn't we make a system already where we all got teleported to work at the same time or sucked up a cool sky tube to go grab dinner or something? Or, maybe someone else has a better suggestion?

I'd say, all we can do is try and be a little less selfish, absent-minded, and psychotic ourselves, and realise that we're all on the road with somewhere to be (even if that is just safe at home in front of the telly). What do you say? Do you agree?

Another distraction - adorable smiling dogs!

What a happy little guy.

A bonus smile from the driver!

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Chiang Mai's Best No-Name Thai Restaurant

Almost every night of the week I get takeaway dinners from my local no-name restaurant, which is seriously lacking in ambiance as well as pretence, and is bursting with delicious, simple, cheap Thai food. I know there are lots of these around, and other people have also been lucky enough to find their own special no-name place, which are usually conveniently located to them or just housing some friendly cooks and other interesting locals. Mine has become a bit of a special place for me that I have grown to appreciate quite profoundly, and expect to miss more than many other places once I leave Chiang Mai.

I wasn't sure how to write about this particular place, as it's hard to recommend a restaurant with rickety stools and street dogs sniffing at your toes, but then I realised to be true to the place I would have to write about the people.

Fast Food (Thai-style)

I'll begin with the chef, who is quite a stern, stout woman who stands a few centimetres below me, with a long ponytail and arms that are permanently stuck to her hips. She's a wonderful woman, in my humble opinion, and is one of the hardest-working chefs I've ever seen in action (I've had the pleasure of spending far too much of my own time in chaotic restaurant kitchens). Whenever I sidle up to the open-plan kitchen to offer my order to the staff, I always feel quite pleased with myself when she gives me a glimpse of a grin, and begins pulling all sorts of utensils out of her apron, ready to get down to no-nonsense cooking.

And then there is the male chef, who is not in the kitchen as often as the woman, but when he is we're always excited, because of his astonishing prowess when it comes to his food. He always sneaks in a little extra of the best ingredients when the woman's not looking (cheeky), and cooks with such joviality it's hard not to get wok-happy just watching him.

The other staff who work in the kitchen are kind and modest, and go about their business efficiently and quite methodically, considering how busy this place can get in the evenings. It's sort of like a Thai take on a fast food joint, although much less organized, but still just as quick and addictive.

Didn't I mention it was going for the rustic look?

Neverending Naughty Treats

Next door to this no-name place is... you guessed it, another no-name place, which serves up cheap steaks, salads, fish and chips and other Farang usuals which the locals seem to enjoy a lot. Nearby to that is a Som Tam stand run by a funny old Thai woman who always wears pyjamas and publicly condemns naughty street dogs that frequent the area, along with her partner who grills various bits of meat on sticks and often sneaks leftovers under the stand for the same naughty street dogs. Opposite their stand, a sassy young woman named El will sometimes set up her own little folding table, and on it she'll sell big bags of fresh mussels with a signature spicy sauce - not for the faint-mouthed at all.

El's friend Wut is also a young regular in the area, and has a great little stall selling fresh crispy pancakes with shredded coconut and cream fillings (Khanom Buang), which he always tries to force on us for free. If you ever have one, well, you will have to have five, and that's why we tend to avoid them! Near his set-up is a little noodle and soup stand, and if you can force down some dessert, there's a mild-mannered Muslim lady who sells calorie-filled rotis along with whatever spread or yummy sweets you ask for, from Nutella and sliced banana to plain old jam and butter. As you can tell, there's no shortage of sweet treats in the area.

The entrance to the 7/11, where all the action happens.

The Farang-inspired fish & chip and steak shop.

Roteeee! Yummeeee!

A little noodle and soup stand off to one side.

Som-tam, corn on the cob (or mielie as us South Africans call it) and dried squid sticks.

El at her spicy mussell stand, with a young Disney fan holding an awkward white dog. How perfect is this scene?

Big Boy Daeng

Along with all these regulars is a steady flow of intriguing characters, who we love to observe while we wait for our takeaways. It's also the territory of our favourite street dog, Daeng, who is also favoured by the locals - the old Thai woman selling Som Tam loves to tell us how good he is (Daeng dee mak!), and then in the same breath, how naughty he is too (Daeng sorn mak!). We love giving him a big stroke and waiing all the locals hello, and if you add some good food to that combo, I think you've got an irresistible deal.

Our beautiful boy!

This is the closest we've got to having our own dog. SOB!

So if you're in the area and you're itching for a no-frills Thai dish, try something here, because you will probably be coming back - if not for the food, then maybe for the people... and if the people fail you, there is always the adorable Daeng!

Best No-Name Restaurant Breakdown:

Drinks:	The small eatery's fridges stock beers and sodas straight from the 7/11 next door.
Food:	With an endless menu up on the walls (only in Thai script, unfortunately) this is the sort of place you can order absolutely anything, so long as you know the name of it (in Thai, again). - The majority of the dishes are ฿30 - ฿40 each. - If you want any extras, larger portions (or to add noodles to your soup, for example) the price will rise to ฿60 - ฿80. The great thing about this place is the ability to tweak your food to your tastes. - We haven't explored the more expensive dishes like fried fish, which are ฿100 or so. - The fruit stand at the restaurant features various fresh fruits every day, like pineapple, melons, papaya, and more, which range from ฿20 - ฿40 per packet.
Pros:	- Service is fast and efficient. The woman is a little grumpy at times, but you can chalk that down to the fact that she works so damn hard every day. The man is always friendly and is fascinating to watch in the kitchen - hair flicking while egg-flipping is his forte. - Food. There is a lot to be said for food that is simple but done well. There are enough dishes to eat something different every night of the week, from a simple fried rice to an elaborate Tom Yum Goong. In my opinion, some of the classic Thai dishes that are fairly common could stand up against many variations in the city and still come out on top. Their Pad See Ewe, for example, is the only one I ever want and their Green Curry could confidently beat many of the lazy, under-developed green curries from here all the way to Bangkok. - Location. Conveniently right next to a 7/11 where a mixed group of locals hang out every night. A good place to watch the world go by, which includes the favourite street dogs, some curious characters and the token toddler whom everyone adores. Next door to a Thai place that does cheap steaks, salads, fish and chips among other favourites, and a horde of street food stalls from Som Tam, spicy mussels, crispy pancakes, sweet rotis and more.
Cons:	- Atmosphere. This is not a fancy, sit-down sort of place. It's great for takeaways if you live nearby or even the quick dinner before you go out. - Service. Again, not that sort of place. You tell the cooks exactly what you want as if it were a street food stand, and then wait for them to make your grub. There's no customer service at this sort of place, which makes it all the more convenient.

Check Out Some Foodies Here:

My dinner most nights of the week. Also known as Pad Pak Ruam (stir-fried mixed vegetables).

Another day, another Pad Pak Ruam.

Very clever Thai packaging. This is a takeaway green curry and some sticky rice.

Green curry (Gaeng Kiew Wan), ready to serve. Better than 90% of expensive restaurant curries.

This is my boyfriend's favourite dish: spicy noodle soup with shrimp (Tom Yum Goong sai Bah Mi).

Adding noodles to Tom Yum Goong makes it a much heartier meal.

One of my favourites: a sweet, slightly spicy coconut milk soup with mushrooms (Tom Kha Hed).

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My Cost of Living on 20K

It's been over a year since I wrote my cost of living on 37K, and obviously as a private teacher my schedule went through some ups and downs since my first cost of living post. It's about time for an update, so you can see what life might be like on the other side of the coin. Here's my cost of living making around ฿20,000 a month in Chiang Mai, Thailand.

This is definitely not one month's salary!

Note that in my last post, I was lucky enough to be working at a kindergarten that paid me ฿19,200 a month, which is an excellent part-time salary by Chiang Mai standards. That job finished ages ago, as well as the lovely Turkish students I was teaching almost every day. It has been difficult to replace that kind of regular income, as so much private teaching is on a course-by-course basis, which means you say goodbye to your students at the end of their 20 hour or 40 hour course - as well as goodbye to your regular paycheck. On the other hand, regular work can be found - it just requires a little more digging, which a lot of people don't want to keep doing every few weeks to keep their income reasonable.

I recently heard a story about a co-worker of a friend. This man comes from a non-native English speaking country, and has been teaching in Chiang Mai for the last 6 or so years. He makes around ฿100,000 a month ($3200). Hard to believe, isn't it? Well, that's what I thought, at least. So to try and figure out how a full-time teacher making a 30k salary at a government school manages to make more than anyone I know teaching in Thailand, I poked around a bit. And the answer is: private teaching! (Although, he is doing more private teaching than I've ever done.) He is literally working in all of his spare time, and perhaps he has a reason to do so, but I don't (except to try and save some money) so I make substantially less than that.

My work schedule is a bit complicated, yes, but I enjoy it, much more so than a full-time school environment where I'd just end up staring out the windows and daydreaming. I've dropped one language school due to being rather busy with the first one, and I've also taken more time off to focus on my writing. I have one student who takes Business English classes with me from Mondays to Thursdays during his break, who pays me quite well, as well as two teenagers who I teach on a Sunday. I also tend to take any job that comes my way from my language school - all these gigs put together are enough for me to survive on for now. My cost of living is still the same as it has been since I first moved to Chiang Mai, so the only setback is that I'm saving less money by working less.

As usual, everything's in Thai Baht, and my cost of living is half the full price because I'm half of a couple:

Cost of Living in Chiang Mai
Rent:	2,750
Bills:	50 for water 600 - 800 for electricity (in the recent months we have been using the AC a lot more) 250 for internet
Eating out:	Street food or dinners from our local place add up to about 100 a week  Eating out at restaurants on the weekend cost anywhere between 500 - 700 a week (this has also gone up as we are in love with more places now!)
Groceries:	100 - 150 a week at our local fresh market  200 a week at supermarkets
Entertainment:	1,000 or more a week goes on drinks with friends, movies or other fun activities. This still seems quite expensive, doesn't it?
Petrol:	260 a week
Airtime:	90 a month. I use my phone quite rarely - most of my communication or plan-making is done online.
Laundry:	20 - 40 a week
Other:	500 - 1,000 a month for picking up a bottle of vitamins, going to the dentist, or taking the a yoga class now and then.
Monthly total:	12,000 minimum - 14,000 maximum (about the same as my last post)

My various teaching jobs in Chiang Mai
Kindergarten	Job: 3 hours a week, twice a week Pay: 275 an hour Total: 3,300 a month
Language School #1 Private lessons at same language school	Hours: a few days out of a month, various teaching jobs, like substituting, judging competitions or debates, and English camps Pay: 300 - 400 an hour Total: about 4,000 a month Hours: 3 hours a week, twice a week Pay: 260 an hour Total: 3,120 a month
Private student #1	Hours: 1,5 hours a day, Monday to Thursday Pay: 300 an hour Total: 7,200 a month (however, this student has an erratic schedule and cancels a few times a month, so this ends up being more like 6,300)
Private students #2	Hours: normally 2 hours on a Sunday, but sometimes more Pay: 300 an hour Total: 2,400 - 3,000 a month
English Camps	Hours: infrequent, as they are hard to fit into busy schedules. One camp could last anywhere from a few days to a week or more. Pay: 1,000 a day, as well as paid transport there and back, accommodation, and food. Total: depends
Monthly total:	19,120 - 20,620 (not including English Camps)

As always, here are way too many photos of my students:

I love this photo of the little girl on the right trying to copy a smile.

"Here's how you do it!"

"No! THIS is how you do it!" Haha.

Way too excited!

I love this kid! His name is Up and he's always grinning like this!

Looknai giving me the "shy pose".

The girl in the middle, Mook-da, is extremely naughty!

Sweet little K1's.

"Guys, how about we drag him around by his limbs for a while? Who's in?"

Lovely K3's: Yodfon, Bam Bam, Mymeen and Oom Im.

Ice and Ice 2 showing off for the camera.

Sweetheart Cartoon.

Ice 2 getting creative with Cartoon!

"Aaaaaah!!"

These two are so naughty! But they look quite sweet now, don't they?

A beautiful project completed by my K3's.

Ice looking guilty after he'd poured my gold glitter all over himself.

A beautiful smile from Tonnam.

These are the two 16-year-olds I teach on Sundays. They are lovely and well-mannered (as you can see!)

Joking around.

This is a kid with baby powder on his face from a game we played at an English Camp. He cracked me up so much!

Some kids doing a dance at an English Camp.

Me with one of the older girls at an English Camp.

Me with another student at an English Camp.

Some poor students waiting to be judged during a speech competition.

A young half-Thai, half-South African girl. She had a great speech all about growing up in SA!

The finalists reciting their speeches for the last time.

A statue at a high school (you guessed it - it's not a Buddhist school).

High school kids munching their lunch.

Another statue at the high school.

A judging sheet I filled in for this particular competition. They are usually a bit strange...

Here's a young Chinese girl I taught for a while. She was very shy, but ended up babbling a lot in English by the end!

Both my Chinese students who I taught for a while. I got this job through an online advert in Chiang Mai.

A funny note from a kid at a school where I substituted for a few days.

Another note. At least they are using English!

A group of young talents at a high school in Chiang Mai.

The kid on the right's nickname was 'Obama'!

My judging table at another speech competition.

Some of the students from a temple school after they had recited their speeches.

The lunch buffet at the competition. Yum!

The winning team from Wichai Wittalaya School. Although, all these kids were half-foreign so it was a bit unfair...

What do you think is a fair wage in Chiang Mai for English teachers? What costs you the most money in Chiang Mai - is it buying things, going out for drinks, or just eating out at expensive restaraunts? Do you think it's possible to save money while teaching English in Thailand? Leave me comments below!

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